The Woes Of A Breast-Full Lady

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As I got the chinkili alert yesterday, i started looking at my wardrobe and scanning through my mind for something I needed ........A-ha!  I needed a bra. At least it was better than using it to buy cream crackers.  At mid afternoon,I stepped out of the house, heading for the market with my head held up high and straight, looking for a good bra merchant.

I personally do not buy second hand underwears ,so I opted for my ready made ones better called, The Aba Made Bras.  After walking round the market for an hour and some deadly minutes without any success,nearly cursing my fortune for giving me big breast and small waist,i resolved that the woman I saw ahead with an undies merchandise would be my last.... The rain I saw coming was not funny, so I approached her and the following conversation took place.

Me : Good even ma,please I need a bra
Lady : good even nwayioma,which size?
Me : 43 ma (I had started pleading the blood of Moses at this point)
Lady : You sure you reach 43,you no look like say you get bress, (looking at me again), 38 be your size nne
Me : madam na 43 I dey wear abi you wan see am
Lady : yes
Me : madam you no get shade so I no fit open cloth 😒
Lady : *brings out the whole 43's* murmuring inaudibly
Me : madam Ogini kwanu
Lady : I no fit find 43 with small waist, all the 43 wey dey here big except you go manage 42 or 41.

   Right there and then I knew my village people where on top my matter if not why else am I getting this ill luck this early in life. Unfortunately she brought out a white bra as a sample for her description.

Me : ah! ma Biko chere, I don't want white bra oh,i am not cursed with white bra's
Lady : Nne,na only white bra dey always dey for people wey get your size(pointing directly at my God given assets)
Me : madam abeg find another colour with small waist, size 42
  Madam rumbles through her merchandise and brings out three different coloured bras.
Me : *seeing the rain approaching *  I quickly made a move to choose the blue bra but then I decided that black was a close pal with brown, so I chose the brown bra as against the pink and blue bra.  *I quickly asked her the price *
Lady : You know say your size dey hard to find for market
Me :  maaaadam how much(I knew she was igbotically calculating the large bill she was going to place on my head and that included her water and rice fee, ehen least for the talk and strength she used in searching for my out of the world bra.  issnor her fault)
Lady : 2 taasand Naira only
Me : For this economy, madam I go give you only 7hundred Naira
Lady : 1500 be the last price
Me : 700( I was ready to battle that price and I had no intention of leaving my new bra.. Never)
Me again: OK I will give you 750 make I use 50 Naira go house.

Lai lai the woman was adamant but I ended up paying her 800 Naira.  That was a good bargain as it beat my budget of 1 thousand Naira.  I even thought of buying 1 paiynt but when I considered the stress, it wasn't worth it.

Hmm, brothers and sisters in Christ, after rejoicing home with my new Rolls Royce, uhm sorry... New bra.  I decided I was going to wear it with my newly sewn sleeveless gown to church the next day been Sunday.
**Wipes tears😢** The next morning, I whistled out of the bathroom, toweled quickly, swished my body with lotion, and jejely proceeded to put on my bra with a sense of ownership and pride. As I started buckling the bra, I felt breeze blow through my back....i thought it was the Holy Spirit rejoicing with me on my new purchase but the feelings weren't good at all.

Lo and behold brethren!..... My bress was sloppy than pancake and idanre hills combined, I felt like I had breastfed the whole of PSG club,and sentimentally given Neymar Vip treatment 😒.
This wasn't good, my whole bras were dirty, lazy me, and I was already to late for church. So I quickly took hold of my needle and thread and began to sew like a professional that I am.  I managed it like that and took off to church.... Without makeup.

Brethren.... I am in church and I feel like I am suicidal,and the message for today is "Have Faith in God" .
I think I took three inches out of each side of the rope I call bra. Besides I have been hyperventilating as the bra cut off almost half of my breast it couldn't contain,leaving my dress to bag the remainder which in turn has taken the breast higher..... OK, I think I forgot to tell you I bought a push up bra.
What should I do and who should I run to? Did I do wrong trying to up my bra game? or Was it not better I had bought cream crackers, ate it and know I ate my money in peace? My budget went to waste guys

Lest I forget, I think I feel the bra lace giving way😨

 Have you had a similar experience,share your experience.

Thanks for reading this article. If you like this article Like, Share And Comment.
I am NGB, Naija Gal On A Budget.


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